objects in rearview mirror are less important than they appear

happy procrastination friday. facebook's 25 things about me that might bore the bejesus out of you.
originally published 2 february, 2009.

1. i avoid using the shift key and rarely use caps. i like to type as fast as i can. someone told me for christmas he'd like to buy me a shift key. who cares? at least i don't shorten everything on top of that, like lol, lmao, lmfao, ttyl, bfn, bff, etc. i also do not use emoticons or put :), :P, ;) or any of that baloney after my sentences. (i think it's pretty cute when guys do it though.)

2. i never update my facebook status. why? because mine would just constantly say, jennifer tye is procrastinating. jennifer tye is being nosy and checking out your info. jennifer tye is mentally beating herself up for not doing what she really needs to be doing. jennifer tye is lazy. etc. and i really don't want you all to know that. p.s. for those of you who can "cook dinner, put the kids to bed, take apart your car engine and put it back together" while on facebook - rock on.

3. i am addicted to caffeine and don't feel bad about it at all. Never have, never will. my mom gave me coffee when i was 3 and i never looked back. at christmas my dad swapped out the hi-test for decaf. after a day-long headache i figured this out. i am addicted to caffeine.

4. speaking of coffee, i drink it with full-on heavy whipping cream and don't feel bad about that either. i think skim milk is horse-puckey and you might as well just put water in your coffee. if you haven't treated yourself to this little luxury, you should. did you know that skim milk is only 2% less fat than 2% milk? and 2% milk is only 2% less fat than whole milk? that whole milk is only 16% less fat than half and half? and half and half is only 18% less fat than heavy cream - which is only 36-40% total fat (way less than a stick of butter)? let me tell you that culinary school has paid off in more ways than you can imagine. oh the knowledge i have. thanks, chef brian.

5. my highschool boyfriend told me i was getting fat and i think i've had problems with body image ever since. thanks, rusty. no, really, thanks. it's thanks to you that i get my arse off the sofa half the time.

6. i only really started cooking when i was in my late 20's and before that i knew practically nothing. that's all i'll say about that for fear of giving my age away. turns out i have a knack for it.

7. speaking of age, i don't answer that question anymore. i won't join the stillwater class of 19XX because of that. i don't have my birthday on here because of that. for those of you tagging me in photos from the 80's i will tell everyone that you were my babysitters. i don't know why and i don't know when i developed a fear of people thinking i'm old. my friends think it's weird. i feel young and i just don't want to talk about it. that's all. next.

8. i read a lot. i read all that "crap" we were supposed to read in high school and college. i can't stand mindless romance novels. surprise, surprise, i know, coming from the girl who likes lifetime tv for women movies and reality tv.

9. i have enough "self portraits" to fill multiple photo albums. i love digital cameras for this reason alone - the days of wondering if they're gonna turn out are gone. click, view, oops, repeat, click, view, oops, repeat, click, view, nope, repeat, til you get a good one. try it.

10. nerd alert: i do sudoku every morning while enjoying my first cup of coffee.

11. i often buy things without thinking about the consequences. it usually works out well. this goes double for my dog, philippe.

12. speaking of philippe, he has chewed up more things than i have admitted to friends. if i told the total value of what he's chewed/destroyed you'd wonder why i've kept him at all. i sure do love that lil guy. he makes me real happy most of the time.

13. when i moved to stillwater after having lived in greece for two years, i was traumatized when i went to school in my wal-mart clothes and payless shoes only to find that children developed style when i was overseas. everyone looked so cute. we didn't know where to buy anything, not that my parents would've cared since i was only 10. i wore fake nikes and a fake "fur" coat and fake boat shoes. it was painful. see #14.

14. i buy shoes, handbags and many, many clothes, with very little buyer's remorse. (i also have a knack for justifying purchases so call me if you need help with that.) i can't admit how many points i earned last year at neiman marcus or my friends would put me in the looney bin. this does not include purchases made at my friends' boutiques, which can also be problematic. i need to stop. see #15.

15. i am paying off my debt and will be debt-free, except for house and school loan, by the end of this year. stop laughing, i'm serious.

16. i cannot have the following items in my house as i cannot be trusted with them: peanut butter, nutella, cereal, ice cream with little treasures in it like ben & jerry's, leftover pizza. i eat these things until they are finished - i cannot sleep until they're gone. i have thrown out nearly full jars of peanut butter when i only needed a small amount for a recipe because of this, even though there are people starving. i also believe that if you're gonna be bad, do it all in one day - don't drag it out for a week/month/year.

17. i would cook in a restaurant the rest of my life if chefs weren't so underpaid. i love the action. i love all the wonderful ingredients at your fingertips, stainless steel workspaces. i love a 1500 degree french cooktop. i think i also secretly love getting yelled at. in french. by an attractive french guy.

18. i drive really fast on the highway. i have to be the car in front and for some reason can't just drive behind someone in the slow lane. see a pattern here yet? gosh i have issues.

19. the saddest day so far in my life was when my cat, toby died. sounds shallow but i've been fortunate enough that no one close to me has tragically died, except from old age, which is different.

20. i have tried online dating and blind dating, getting set up, hiring a matchmaker, but found it all to be useless and unromantic. i am a walking seinfeld episode, keying in on the weirdest things, knowing full-well i am far from perfect. i believe i might be single forever. honestly. and i don't know if i'm ok with that.

21. i have loved matt damon since i saw him in mystic pizza and school ties. i'm real sad he keeps having babies that chick.

22. my right foot is nearly a full size bigger than my left. this does not handicap me in any way though. no pain, no gain.

23. i never judge people by what they do. i believe you have no idea why people do things unless you're them. i appreciate the same non-judgemental respect in return. i might judge people by what they wear though. personal style, whatever it is, is critical. i write this while wearing my sweatpants, of course, but that's because i should be walking my dog, not this silly long list.

24. even though i'm a chef, i love tony's frozen pizza. original crust. none of this monkey business with di giorno and freschetta, blah, blah, blah. cheap and crispy. i also love the whopper with cheese though i haven't a clue where the nearest burger king is.

25. i'm a sucker for a guy with an accent. or a guitar. or these days, even a large knife.

26. please brace yourself for a doozy/little known fact a few lucky people who finished this huge list get to know: i have a led zepplin tatoo on my butt that was put there by a peg-legged man called harpoon barry. i also own the full collection of britney spears. i still love her classics.

cava mezze, 523 8th street, se, barracks row, washington dc

ok, so lately i'm socializing on 8th street, southeast. aka barracks row. it's so easy to be there. if you wanna see me, invite me to nearly anywhere on 8th street and i'm alloverit.





i kinda want to move to that 'hood. seriously.

the restored barracks row district has it all in this smartly-dressed girl's estimation. and it keeps gettin better.

starting with the new greek resto, cava mezze. and as you well know, i love all things a la grecque [that's french for greek]. and since i can't seem to get my we-wear-short-shorts wearin' arse overseas, i'll happily settle for cava mezze for now.


the 8th street se corridor is a peaceful, casual neighborhood lined with historic rowhouses, in walking distance to lots of stuff. and there are always people out and about. if you don't have a dog, get one or borrow one. they have no less than three doggie boutiques on 8th, which is peculiar. but cool. philippe digs it too. [love that little guy with curiously good taste.]


i've kinda been obsessing about becoming a part of this community lately. the neighborhood is an amalgamation of all kinds: young broke hill staffers, military, cute young couples, baby buggies, gay guys, and hopefully attractive single straight guys if i'm serious about moving there.


of important note, the place is crawling with captivatingly cute marines milling around. the marine corps barracks are situated at the end of 8th street and that's where they live i guess. you should really try to get over there at the crack of dawn if you want to see them working out. who loves ya, baby?

my, my, they are fine specimens to behold. all fresh-faced, and perky and angular. and those summer blue-white dress uniforms are tadiefor. meow. my heart beats a little faster when i'm on 8th street. i feel a spring in my jimmy choo'ed step.


[i know, i know what you're thinking. i don't need a lecture. these young boys are like fireflies - they're fun to look at but you don't really want one to land on you.]


back to the newest spot to grace 8th. cava mezze. if i used caps i would capitalize the word coolio here. i totally have a crush on this place.



firstly, i love a summertime patio. cava mezze has a rooftop deck as well, sadly it's only open on thurs-fri-sat. what the?

for the love of the few, the proud, open that bad boy up. what are you waiting for?





cava mezze's got a chill vibe with undeniable style. really interesting mod lighting fixtures. it only took us 10 minutes to grab a spot on the patio. bonus. it was a monday.

i should mention it's half-priced bottles of wine on mondays. i don't give a black-footed ferret's ass about prices but hey, it's nice when something's almost free.

we enjoyed a couple three bottles of segura viudas cava, normally 40 but tonight only 20. guess that's why they reserve half-priced bottles for mondays - we all need to be back to work the next day. it was yummy bubbly and beyond that the bottle was cool. it was worth 20 bucks empty i think.

as you probably guessed if you're smart, which you are, because you're reading this, this spot's all about small plates. mezze.

appetizer-lover that i happen to be, i feel like i just entered st. peter's anteroom, the waiting area just outside the pearly gates. this menu, it's overwhelming me with so many small plate choices. it's enormous. where to begin. hoo rah.

oh and they bring you for free pita with olive oil, some red-orange spicy-as-hell pottage for dipping and warm kalamatas. i can't express how lucky i am for all the freebies i've been getting lately. what gives?

we share more than our share of goodies. before we can decide upon anything, we saw some jaw-dropping fries walk by. this summer's must have accessory.

how absolutely darling is that sweet little fryer basket? those handcut fries were evil good.

we also ordered the obligatory hummus and pita. just in case. yum, standard. yum.

greek grilled cheese was stickyummy. kefalograviera [huh?] cheese melted on yummy bread and drizzled with honey and sprinkled with thyme. holy mother of socrates. brilliant i say.

calamari: how boring. admit it though, isn't it your life's mission to find the perfectly cooked calamari? i don't know why it's so hard, but most places can't get it crispy. there's nothing worse than floury tasting calamari that's mushy. ick. cava mezze's is pretty good, some of the better that i've had i think. the best is still found over there at the capital grille. hands down. but, this shouldn't disappoint less critical eaters.

so brace yourselves, the both of you, for this one. lamb sliders. chopped grilled leg o' lamb with (not-so-greek) jalapenos, feta, arugula and yogurt. if you can take the spice you're gonna love these little darlings. just make sure you've got a grip on your glass cuz they're they're fiery little bastards. served on toasted and good but not homemade buns.

so, mezze. (meh-zay). the pleasure of savoring little plates of food with wine and drinks. according to the menu. i can't wait to go back. new hangout, no question.

heaven knows we need to consider abandoning lola's [home of what we're not-so-fondly referring to as spring break '09] where we get ruffied by the bartender.